My favorite coffee shop reopened for window service last week. It’s essential that they keep providing me with espresso as long as I live in Northern Michigan, so I’ve made it a goal to stop by every time the weather is truly terrible. I stand outside in the drizzle, at least 6-feet from the window and the shop owner sets my drink on a new, cobbled-together platform. He takes a step back while I step forward. He looks glad, but a little tired. Just like I feel. We chat a little bit about how good it is to be “back.” I walk away and think, “both of us know that we’re not really back… are we?”
As news broke this week that stay-at-home restrictions would be lifted for Michigan bars and restaurants, businesses and consumers alike face a fresh wave of questions. While some are celebrating the idea of a return to normal, others feel nervous that the move is too soon, even for Northern Michigan where COVID-19 has prevailed far less compared to the rest of the state. Group size rules, industry specific protective guidelines, new cleaning procedures and continued cancellation of summer events keep us in limbo. With most of us somewhere along the spectrum of gleefully happy and still terrified, a return to work and restaurants doesn’t seem to be returning us to any type of normal. In fact, it may even be creating more uncertainty.
Many of us who have never experienced unemployment, let alone a global pandemic, will now encounter another uncharted sea – returning to work during an ongoing global pandemic. And along with the numerous important safety measures that offices, warehouses, and retailers will have put in place, each individual returning to work will likely have to face the reality that at least one other thing as changed: their self.
As a mental health professional, the process of adjusting back to a working lifestyle in a healthy way during this time is of special concern. As I personally navigate the way of working in an office again, I want to offer a few observations that may help us all approach our old jobs (or new jobs) in a new way.
Pandemic scale readjustment is non-linear.
- Although at this point I can’t remember when it was, I can remember a time when I still believed that this whole coronavirus thing was going to blow over. But then hugging your friends was against the guidelines. Then school was cancelled. And businesses shut down. Masks became mandatory at the grocery store. For me, this gradual adjustment to life in the age of COVID-19 required step by step acceptance, and it didn’t always seem very logical.
- It’s helpful to remember that a season of crisis is a lot like grief. That means that returning to work in a COVID world might seem a little bit like going back to work after experiencing loss. For some, working may be a welcome distraction from the emotions associated with crisis and change. However, feelings associated with loss typically don’t just go away because we have a way to fill our time. Just like in seasons of grief, it’s important to be honest with yourself about how much you can handle. A full 8-hour workday in the office might require too much energy right now. If you find that’s the case, be gracious to yourself, and ask for help. What could come off your plate?
Remember that your boss is probably feeling at least a little bit like you are.
- Now that you’ve been through the experience of unemployment or underemployment, the pressure of job security, financial well-being, and even esteem may seem even more overwhelming. If you find yourself wanting more than ever wanting to show up early, work through lunch, and leave late, I urge you to consider that even your boss probably just got back into the same rocked boat. We can do ourselves and our organizations a great deal of good by practicing patience with those who are trying to lead and manage others as they navigate the same uncertain terrain.
Try to resist the urge to compare yourself with friends and co-workers.
- One of the striking things about this pandemic is that while the very word “pandemic” implies that the global situation affects virtually everyone in some way, it affects no two people in the same way.
- Being patient with yourself as an individual with unique circumstances will help you to be kinder and more attentive to others. Perhaps this goes without saying: we need more kindness and attentiveness.
- Practice comparison resistance by taking a break from social media while you transition back to work. Could you go your whole first week without Facebook? It might be worth it just to try.
Ritualize and rest (put your sourdough starter in the fridge).
It’s okay to miss the quarantine routine. When I first entered back into a working schedule, I almost immediately felt daunted by how little time I suddenly had compared to the preceding weeks, and then conflicted about the idea that I had benefited from circumstances that have been catastrophic for other people. Maybe it’s hard to forget how nice it was to sleep in a little later or share so many meals with your spouse, or children. Or perhaps you took up a new hobby and being “back to normal” means that you have a lot less time for fun, being outside, or exercise. Two helpful ways to navigate transition are to ritualize and rest.
- Ritualize. There is widespread appreciation of the fact that COVID-19 has changed our world. Taking time to consider and commemorate how this time has changed your family can help you and your family navigate the next season. This is even true in small, practical ways. Is one of the things that you miss about your family time your homemade bread? Don’t throw your sourdough starter away just because you can’t bake every day anymore. This transition is a good reminder that times of work and times of play often cycle like the seasons. Preserve the rituals of high value however you can and you’ll be ready to embrace rest, family time, hobbies, and play when you do have the margin. Perhaps even more than you might have before the global pandemic!
- Rest. If you find that quarantine revealed that you were living at an unsustainable pace of life, be mindful to not jump right back into the race at the same pace. Consider how you might take a full day off from all work, every week, for the foreseeable future. Are there daily self-care habits that you were able to make time for in April that you could incorporate into your life once per day, for the rest of the year?
Practice self-regulation. AND imagination.
- In his seminal work on leadership, A Failure of Nerve, Edwin Friedman notes that in order to discover new frontiers during times of great change “people must be able to separate themselves from surrounding emotional process (p. 602).” In other words, it’s impossible to see, hear, and embrace opportunity when we’re too wrapped up in what everyone else is feeling to know our own emotions. Taking a step back from the anxiety all around you could be as simple as taking a deep breath after you read the news, or before opening up your email, or going for a walk to pray or meditate during your lunch break.
- Finally, as the whole world changes again, be brave to imagine some new ways that your work could contribute to human flourishing. Perhaps during quarantine you were able to unearth a few dreams. You don’t have to rebury them just because it’s time to earn your paycheck at the office again. What are the new rhythms, rituals, and places of rest that you can bring into this next season that will bring life to those dreams? Now might be the best time to find out.
By: Melissa Johnson, BA, MA intern
Melissa is a counseling intern with Adaptive and is taking new referrals. She loves working with teenagers, individuals and families who feel stuck personally, professionally, or spiritually, as well as folks who are experiencing seasons of grief, loss, and loneliness. Read more about Melissa here: https://www.adaptivecounseling.com/our-team-2/ or call 231-715-8466 to schedule an appointment.